The United States of America (consolidated)

Texas wants to take possession of its gold bullion, they say their gold bars are stored in New York – per a recent AP article.ome speculate that Texas taking possession of their gold relates to an intent to secede from the US.

It got me thinking  – what if there were fewer states? Not from secession but from mergers and acquisitions. Why shouldn’t we be more like corporations?

Do North and South Dakota really need to be separate? Combine – be The Dakotas.  Why shouldn’t The Dakotas be fiscally conservative and cut costs? Reduce from two to one: capital buildings, governor’s mansions, number of state representatives and state senators, same for those US congress people. It’s all paid for out of the taxpayers’ pocket. Save money! Sell the surplus buildings. They can be converted to affordable housing. Meet the quotas.

Do we really need two states that include the name Virginia? One West and one not? Merge! The Virginias. And New England? Make it one state by combining ME, NH, VT, MA, RI and CT. The new state will still have a smaller population than Texas.  And yes, you’d need to cut a portion out of southwestern CT and add it to NY for all the Yankee, Mets, Liberty, Jets, and Knicks fans. That’s a minor adjustment.

The Carolinas. Oops! That might be a problem. Maybe South Carolina merges with Georgia instead and North Carolina joins The Virginias.

The Midwest? Oh, I don’t know. Growing up in Ohio, I’d have no problem with a merger with Michigan, where I spent my summer vacations swimming in Walloon Lake or the chilly waters of Lake Michigan and winter vacations skiing up at Boyne Mountain or Otsego.  But we would need a new name – couldn’t be Michigan or Ohio given that old dispute over Toledo.  And yes, Ohio is confused with Iowa by people on the coasts anyway. Both states have four letters and include an I and an O – that doesn’t make them the same place. In my opinion, those confused people are, well, idiots, sorry to say. We’ll leave these states as is.

Arizona and New Mexico – what’s the difference anyway? Desert. Beauty. Spiritual. Home to many Native Americans. Combine!  Call the state Southwest. And what about Utah? It will stand alone and we all know why.  Washington and Oregon could become Washingon or Orington but somehow The Northwest sounds better. California? It’s already too large to manage. We may have to split up and someone’s already thought of that. It didn’t make the ballot though.

So the newly named states: The Dakotas, The Virginias, New England, the Southwest, and the Northwest. Sounds so familiar.

—–AP article

This entry was posted in Modern Life Musings. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply